Can I be a Casual-Sex Christian?
Embracing the difficult struggles of living a intimate life committed to Jesus is the forefront of my existence. My ministry hasn’t been a comfortable lackadaisical one. All my pains and sins have been the proving ground of whether I sought after Jesus for fire insurance or for relationship. Put your salvation to the test, interview yourself with He who is greater within you and ask the tough questions about the sins that plague your life. We experience grievous separation from our care giver when we sin. Please examine yourself and prayerfully seek wisdom from the giver of all knowledge to rid yourselves of any debilitating sin that besets you from the creator.
I dated a female who graduated from a Christian college in Virginia’s beautiful Shenandoah Valley. It was seemingly perfect from the outside: small campus with professors who adored teaching, numerous Bible studies and Christian groups to keep you spiritually challenged…and the sadly typical sexual immorality underneath the surface.
Casual sex at a Christian college? Yes.
Today’s hookup culture is everywhere. In a blog titled “Loving Jesus & Hooking Up,” author and blogger Mary DeMuth describes a situation in a church singles’ ministry where casual sex ran rampant. Many of those in the group were post-divorce and believed that hooking up was acceptable.
We know the Bible story of the woman who was caught in adultery. She was brought before Jesus where he did not condemn her, but offered her what DeMuth calls “outrageous grace.” He then says, “Go and sin no more.”
It is that last part that has been forgotten, DeMuth says.
Our sins were paid for when Jesus died on the cross. This does not mean we have the green light to continue sinning when we know better!
Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
In the pursuit of feeling good, we sin against our own bodies. DeMuth writes that “we prove that our true allegiance is to ourselves, our desires and not to Christ and His kingdom.”
In addition, we are stomping on Jesus’ gift of grace.
“He offers a gift to us, the same gift He beautifully demonstrated to the woman caught in adultery: forgiveness of sin and sanctification (working out that forgiveness by walking closely with Jesus). When we hook up casually and falsely believe Jesus is okay with it, to put it bluntly, we are not following the real Jesus,” DeMuth writes.
In an iBelieve video, author Nicole Unice talks about godly dating. When done correctly, dating honors women (and men), Unice says. She recommends dating to be approached as one would approach getting to know a new friend. When you meet someone, it is safe talk to them about who they are over a cup of coffee.
“The way I think women get themselves into trouble is over-investing emotionally far before they should,” Unice says. “To make yourself available emotionally…you may be doing it in the spirit of ‘this is how I’m showing that I’m interested,’ but it can come across as way too much too soon, it can come across as just trying too hard and also I think it…creates opportunities for you to be hurt.”
DeMuth laments that it is almost impossible to tell the difference between believers and non-believers today. Too many Christians have embraced the modern way of the world with its sexual sin.
“We are called to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Christ–even as we approach sexuality,” she writes. “But we’ve settled for a sanitized Christianity, a palatable one, where, outside the confines of marriage, we do whatever we want in bed with whomever and whenever, then ask God to stamp it with His approval.
“That’s not grace, friends. It’s license.”