“I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus, my Lord” (Phil. 3:8).
What a challenging weekend this has been. I attempted to take on all the concerns of my life all by myself. I wanted to fix everything that was apparently wrong in the natural life I was living by trying to fix matters myself. Having faith means walking in it. Believing God for the things hoped for and the evidence of the unseen. I had to surrender to the natural thoughts I had about my son and daughter never getting out of prison, I had to surrender the thoughts of being unsuccessful in fore-filling God’s purpose for my life, I had to die to the feelings of failing at being an instrument totally used of God to perform the spiritual duties He has purposed for my existence in this life. Lord, I pray you keep me from day to day, show me how to worship and surrender to all the harassing voices of darkness, feed me until I want no more of the natural life style here on this planet. I see myself as He does tonight based off being in community this weekend. I shut all the windows and doors tonight and got before my God and this is what He said:
This is the happy season of ripening cornfields, of the merry song of the reapers, of the secured and garnered grain. But let me hearken to the sermon of the field. This is its solemn word to me. You must die in order to live. You must refuse to consult your own case and well-being. You must be crucified, not only in desires and habits which are sinful, but in many more which appear innocent and right. If you would save others, you cannot save yourself. If you would bear much fruit, you must be buried in darkness and solitude.
My heart fails me as I listen. But, when Jesus asks it, let me tell myself that it is my high dignity to enter into the fellowship of His sufferings; and thus I am in the best of company. And let me tell myself again that it is all meant to make me a vessel meet for His use. His own Calvary has blossomed into fertility; and so shall mine.
Plenty out of pain, life out of death: is it not the law of the Kingdom?
Do we call it dying when the bud bursts into flowers?
“Finding, following, keeping, struggling,
Is He sure to bless?
Saints, apostles, prophets, martyrs,
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