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I am occupying a dwelling “Today” that society said I didn’t qualify for due to my past record. I am sitting in this dwelling suffering from Sickle Cell Anemia “Crisis” and meditating on my past. I grew up in a home consumed with a polytheistic culture and a spirit of over achievement which resulted in me graduating at the ripe age of 16 and going on to pursue my career by attending Syracuse University while simultaneously serving my country. The past always has haunted my peace due to the many challenges I had to endure getting out of the home I grew up in. Once I graduated college I went on to become a Navy Seal. I had a Bachelor of Science in Chemical Engineering, but elected to turn down a commissioned officer rank and serve as an enlisted. I am pondering “Today” the decision I made that may have plagued my success in life. Once I received my orders to report to The USS Enterprise and then be detached to Desert Shield I was in contemplation once again, because the BUDS training never equaled to the reality I had to face once in the thick of combat.

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I remember while sitting under the glare of the moon in a hostile country wondering if being here was better than being at home with all the pressure and dysfunction I ran from. I heard a voice within my inner man say Aaron I am here, “trust” me to set your life in order. Uncertainty about what the future held for me at the age of 21 with a 2 year old son and wife back home depending on me and I am here fighting an enemy that hasn’t done anything to me.

I am asking this question tonight, What keeps me from being content where God has placed me “Today”? There are so many other challenges that took place in my life to get here where I am tonight, like imprisonment as a soldier and a civilian, drug addiction to cocaine and addiction to fame and fortune. The deaths of 3 children a mother and two brothers while serving my country and as a civilian. I received my call to Christ at the age of 8 years old, only to be restricted in how and who to worship.

Family dysfunction can be any condition that interferes with healthy family functioning. Most families have some periods of time where functioning is impaired by stressful circumstances (death in the family, a parent’s serious illness, etc.). Healthy families tend to return to normal functioning after the crisis passes. In dysfunctional families, however, problems tend to be chronic and children do not consistently get their needs met. Negative patterns of parental behavior tend to be dominant in their children’s lives.

After going to prison and losing several homes and other securities my life had gotten accustomed to I blamed my dad and his influence he once had on my life. I am going to pursue release from this fog by looking to the healer of our souls.

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Proverbs 3:13
The Message (MSG)
The Very Tree of Life

13-18 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
Hold her tight—and be blessed!

Psychologist William Marston once asked three thousand people, “What have you to live for?” He was shocked to discover that 94 percent of the people he polled were simply enduring the present while they waited for something to happen–waiting for children to grow up and leave home, waiting for next year, waiting to take a trip, waiting for someone to die, or waiting for tomorrow. They had hope, but no ongoing purpose for their lives.

Only 6 percent of the people identified relationships and activities in the present tense of their lives as valuable reasons for living! The 94 percent would be wise to recall the words of this poem by and unknown author:

During all the years since time began,
Today has been the friend of man;
But in his blindness and his sorrow,
He looks to yesterday and tomorrow.
Forget past trials and your sorrow.
There was, but is, no yesterday,
And there may be no tomorrow.

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Instead of dwelling on your past mistakes, make a new start by thanking God for all the good in your life. I thank God for the ability to write and focus through my pain, I thank God for my trials and His deliverance through them all. I thank God for His word that renders so much solace when I am perplexed and confused. Guilt is concerned with the past. Worry is concerned about the future. Contentment enjoys the present. I have new mercies “Today” to escort me through difficulties from yesterday. Thank you ABBA for Your “Grace” to press onward..

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